The Legend of Campfire Charlie
A day in the life of a park ranger
Welcome to Book 1 of the Centennial Campfire Trilogy. Do you have a fear of being squeezed to death by a giant Burmese Python? Or does being followed around all day by a Florida Panther rattle your nerves? If so, join Rusty, a well meaning but - how shall we say - "often distracted" park ranger who is scheduled to give an evening talk in a swamp preserve on a topic he doesn't much like. Not to worry (or maybe worry a lot) as the unwitting ranger meets a mysterious stranger who catapults him on a breathtaking journey to confront and maybe finally answer the deepest and most confounding question of his life. That is assuming he can ever get done (or to) his campfire talk ...
The Legend of Campfire Charlie
(Celebrating the 100th Birthday of America’s National Parks)
Part 1 of the Centennial
Campfire Trilogy
Robert V. Sobczak and Rudi Heinrich
The Legend of Campfire Charlie:
Celebrating the 100th Birthday of America’s National Parks
Copyright © 2016 by Robert V. Sobczak and Rudi Heinrich
1st Edition, May 2016
ISBN: 978-0-9982598-1-9
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the authors except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
CAUTION: This book is not a “How To Manual” for catching or handling large constrictor snakes. Anyone attempting to handle a snake or perform any other feats of physical prowess described in this book risks serious injury or death. As to if and where such a manual exist, the authors are not sure, possibly the internet. BEWARE: This is a work of fiction. The portrayal of characters, locales, institutions, agencies, businesses, incidents, and plot are purely imaginary or used fictitiously with no basis in reality or to actual events. Any resemblance to actual persons ― living, dead or otherwise ― is purely coincidental. WARNING: The book does not state or reflect official or unofficial views or opinions of the United States Government or any other long-established institutions mentioned within nor is it reflective of the views, actions, or opinions of representatives thereof. Any reference within the book to any specific commercial products, process, or service by trade name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise, does not constitute or imply its endorsement, recommendation, or favoring by the United States Government. The ideas and imagery expressed in this book are the literary contrivances of the two authors alone, intended for the purpose of telling a good yarn and in the spirit of making sense of a complex world.
The above being said, otherwise please ENJOY.
Praise for The Legend of Campfire Charlie
“Hilarious. A day in the life of a park ranger.”
Mort Irvine, Sagebrush Sentinel
“A Triumph! First Yellowstone, now this.”
Editorial, Shanksville Preservation Society Circular
“Good to see the swamp tradition passed down.”
Wayne Wroke, Oklahoma Advocate
“The Arty Garfunkel and Paul Simon of their region.”
Bobby Angel, leaked Youtube video
“Eine beliebte Lese in allen unseren Cafés.”
Staff, Wien Essen und Wein Bewertung
“We have no statement on this book at this time.”
Press Release, Parks for the People Foundation
Back of Book
“A-Side” Back of Book: Do you have a grave fear of speaking in public? How about being squeezed to death by a giant Burmese Python? Does being watched by a panther all day rattle your nerves? Join Rusty, a well-meaning but ― how shall we say ― “often distracted” park ranger, who is scheduled to give an evening campfire talk in a swamp preserve on a topic he doesn’t much like. Not to worry (or maybe worry a lot) as the unwitting ranger meets a mysterious stranger who catapults him on a breathtaking journey to confront and maybe finally answer the deepest and most confounding question of his life. That’s assuming he can ever get done (or to) his campfire talk …
“B-Side” Back of Book: Did you grow up with a father you didn’t quite understand? How about one who took you on crazy adventures that even now, decades later, still don’t quite add up in your head? And at some point did you “drift away” from home only to return when it was almost ― but maybe not ― too late? Join Ranger Rusty as he captains a ship into the darkening chaos of an unresolved and unrelenting past. Or is he just going to a campground to lead a light-hearted fireside chat on a topic that is very near-and-dear to his heart?
“Bootleg” Back of Book: Was there a patch of woods or fallow farm fields that you regarded as “all your own” when you were a kid? The place you found freedom “outside of the house?” And what was your reaction when you saw the bulldozers moving in to plow it down? Did you rise up to defend your woods? Or did you just idly sit on the sideline and helplessly watch? Join Ranger Rusty as he “single-handedly” saves the universe from utter and earth-wrenching apocalypse and ― once and for all ― puts the course of history back on the right track. That’s assuming he can ever get caught up on his backlogged list of unread emails …
“Actual” Back of Book: The back of this e-book is blank1.
1 Note to reader: If you are reading a paperback copy, the back of the book has trees.
Dedication
For fathers you don’t always understand, for mothers whose love never ends, for sons and daughters who grow into women and men, for the comradery of a good friend, for ending each day with Thanks and Amen, for waking up the next day and doing it again.
The Centennial Campfire
Table of Contents
Prologue, 1
Rusty’s Email, 7
Email Inbox, 8
Rusty Responds to an Email, 12
THE RANGER, 13
Chapter 1 Amphitheater at Fifty Mile Bend, 21
Chapter 2 Portrait of an Artist, 26
Chapter 3 Running Up Old Glory at the Break of Day, 37
Chapter 4 Sun Rises Over the Yellowstone of the East, 62
Chapter 5 No Lunch as Water Crisis Mounts, 88
Chapter 6 Work Day Ends on a Good Note, 117
Chapter 7 Rusty Arrives at Monroe Station, 142
Chapter 8 Invasion of Norman, 152
Chapter 9 The Ghost of Jimmy Thistle, 169
Chapter 10 Collision on the Tamiami, 183
BOOK 2 MISSOURA, 203
Chapter 1 Rebound King of Rubico Creek, 207
Chapter 2 Left at Stove Pipe Prairie to Gator Tate, 218
Chapter 3 The Amazing Adventures of Hank Trouper, 222
Chapter 4 Dwight’s New Bridge, 231
Chapter 5 Camp Geronimo and the Great Outdoors, 237
Chapter 6 Logging Tram to the Tin Man’s House, 241
Chapter 7 Carnage on the Path to Progress, 245
Chapter 8 Fathers and Son, 258
Chapter 9 Spirits Rise on Big Pine Lake, 263
Chapter 10 Final Stop at the Graveyard, 266
Chapter 11 When the Wheel Bogs Down, 270
Chapter 12 Rusty Rebels to Right the Ship, 279
Chapter 13 Son Follows in Father’s Footsteps, 281
THE RANGER, To Be Continued … 287
Once two strangers climbed on rocky top lookin’ for a moonshine still. Strangers ain’t come back from rocky top, guess they never will.
Felice and Boudleaux Bryant, “Rocky Top”
Em … Bm7 … Em … Bm7 … Em … Bm7… C … Am7 … Bm7… Em7… Am7 … D7… G…
Paul Desmond, “Take Five”
